midnightcookies

British and Australian accents are hot on guys.... but no one really discusses the cutest accent for a girl to have... amirite?

No accent, because the ideal woman doesn't talk at all!

Someone had to say it.

Anti-jokes are sometimes funnier than real jokes nowadays. Example: Helen Keller walks into a bar. Then a table. Then a door. Amirite?

A man walks into a bar.

His alcoholism is ruining his family.

Math textbooks should make the problems more applicable to real life. "Bonquiqui is robbing a bank. The ladder is 14 feet tall and the window he needs to escape from is 10 feet from the ground. How far from the window should Bonquiqui put the ladder?", amirite?

Answer:
Bonquiqui best pop a cap up in all dem bitches as befo' she gets caught, fuck dat ladda

The girl you just called fat? She really likes lasagna and cake. The boy you just called stupid? He doesn't try to study. The boy you just tripped? He's an asshole and really deserved it. Sometimes, there isn't more to people than meets the eye, amirite?

That seriously emo kid you've been picking on? He kinda likes it when you call him names 'cause it gives him an excuse to keep wearing skinny jeans and acting depressed, which makes him sexy and nonconformist.

Omg "hold your orgasms" I lol'd so hard XD

Being sad is a total misuse of time, it doesn't change anything. All it does is mess up your mind and steal your happiness, amirite?

When I'm sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome.
True story.

Sometimes its fun to provoke the grammer nazis to go into a huge, long rant about you're poor intelligence, amirite?
You hate it when your menservants ruin your entire meal by serving DAY OLD caviar, with a SILVER spoon no less, and you have to demand that they bring you a proper hor d'oeuvre, amirite?

Well, i quit.

Anonymous +13Reply
To most Christians, the Bible is like the terms of use for a software license. Nobody actually reads it, they just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree", amirite?
To most Christians, the Bible is like the terms of use for a software license. Nobody actually reads it, they just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree", amirite?
I figured out why men can have sex and women cannot or they look like sluts. A man tries so hard to get laid, and so when he does, he's looked upon as an accomplished person. A woman can get laid quite easily, therefore is looked upon as a slut when she does. This is the way society has been taught to live, amirite?

If a key opens a lot of locks, it is a master key, if a lock is opened by a lot of keys it is a shitty lock.

Anonymous +15Reply
Sure opposites attract. But there's a reason why no one says opposites stay together. amirite?
@potato22 Not that many comments on potd... Srry but i don't know where to close my account, since i don't want it anymore...

I'll remove it for you. All takes are a few simple steps.
Step 1: Go to my account settings.
Step 2: Click "Change Password"
Step 3: Mash random letters on the keyboard with your eyes closed
Step 4: Log out
Your welcome

I see there’s a lot of people asking if Kate Middleton will be the new Queen. I say there’s no chance. Queen had a string of huge hits in the 70’s and 80’s and Kate has very little experience in the music industry. amirite?

The next Queen? She couldn't even be the next Lady of Gaga. Now don't get me started on that William kid. He's not even close to being Prince.

I went to a restaurant the other day and I noticed that my waitress had a black eye. I made sure I spoke loud and clear when ordering my food because she obviously had trouble listening, amirite?
@Wow, Amirite's gone downhill since I was last on here.

Are you kidding Anonymous? I see you around ALL THE TIME