You can only kiss yourself in the mirror on the lips, amirite?

It same like screwing with condoms

When you think which car you're going to buy, you're choosing your potential death bed, amirite?

With the way I drive and how I never wear a seat belt, the road ahead will be my deathbed.

April of 2069 is gonna be a nice month, amirite?

Its nice to know that, if i dont die early, i'll still be alive in 2069

We find it adorable when animals behave like humans but not the other way around, amirite?

You mean to say when I *HOCK HOCK HOCK HOCK HOCK HOCK HOCK* and then release a wad of undigested hair on the couch my partner DOESN'T think I'm adorable?

That bitch lied to me 😤😤😤

Our cats probably worry about how often our fur changes. They might just think we're terrible at camouflage. amirite?
Maybe birds are secretly drones that recharge by sitting on powerlines, amirite?

So original

Using the Braille writing system you could cheat on tests at school and never get caught. amirite?

also a good idea is instead of learning braille, you could study for your test

No dude wants a 20 year old car, but every dude wants a 20 year old girlfriend. amirite?


No fun if she ain't at least 21!

A majority of fans are likely only used to produce white noise, amirite?

Majority of fans are used to cool down

Chances are you drank from a lake that at one point had human remains, amirite?

Chances are I didn't. I never drank out of a lake in my life!!

90% of lies told are out of kindness or convenience, and not particularly immoral, amirite?
@PizzaQueef Lying is always immoral.

Not if you don't hold yourself to religious standards of morality

XS, sure. Small, yep. XL, XXL, even XXXXXL? Mmm, OK. XM? NO WAY! There is only medium. amirite?

You also skipped large.

Cotton earbuds have more uses than what it is meant for. amirite?
@Larny2019 What now?

Straight from my box of Q-tips
"Caution: do not enter the ear canal. Use only as directed. Entering the ear canal can cause injury. Keep out of reach of children. To clean ears, stroke swab gently around the outer surface of the ear"

Mid-night is actually more like 2a, amirite?
@PizzaQueef No it's not, some parts of the world don't see light for weeks. Midnight is 12AM

Valid point. There is no night for parts of the world for weeks, and as such there is no middle, further arguing that mid-night is not at 12a.

Mid-night is actually more like 2a, amirite?
@Crazymotherfuker How?

Sun goes down at ~8p and rises at 6:30a. Depending on latitude of course.