When men masterbate, they just throw away DNA. amirite?

If animals eat your DNA chances of you reincarnating as an animal is real

Cheeses are often described as "nutty", but nuts are never described as "cheesy". amirite?

Man nuts can be cheesy....

In the end, Depression leaves you too. amirite?
Water is kinky cause it likes to choke you. amirite?

TIL when people drown, they just forgot the safe word

People with a crush on a dentist have the cleanest teeths, amirite?
While you scroll down, you don't actually do it. You just change the colors of pixels. amirite?

this one hurt

Hunger Games was probably inspired by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, amirite?

Care to elaborate?...this I'd like to hear

There's nothing worse than realizing you just gained 203 pounds. amirite?

How much is that in euros?
Dad jokes coming in hot!

As we speak, Mars surface exists in the same consciousness we are in. amirite?
The number of times you've sneezed us probably even, amirite?
@Johannheidar90 Nah, most sneezes come in a 2 sneeze package. You sneeze, then you sneeze again right after. Such is the law of the land

"Most" sneezes might. But guess what, your argument still doesn't make sense. Because after that one improbable time you sneeze once, most of your sneezes after that would result in the same odd number. 3+2 is still odd. I know, math, very hard and stuff

Free will doesn't exist, our actions are determined by our hedonistic egoism. When we choose to help others, we do so ultimately because of the personal gains that we ourselves expect to obtain, directly or indirectly, from so doing. amirite?

that's not determinism it's just basic sociology

I'd like to know what would've happened to Phil Connors, had he forced himself to stay awake until 6:00a on the day after Groundhog Day. amirite?
@AJQ1986 Ned the Head?

Shot him dead, just for some street cred.

Strict vegans shouldn't listen to music played on violins, cellos, drums or pianos with ivory keys. amirite?
When w‌‌e f‌‌inally b‌‌eat t‌‌he p‌‌andemic w‌‌e s‌‌hould e‌‌xpect l‌‌ots o‌‌f p‌‌orn w‌‌here t‌‌he m‌‌ain c‌‌haracter i‌‌s p‌‌unished f‌‌or n‌‌ot w‌‌earing a‌‌ m‌‌ask. amirite?

"Stepmom makes mask for stepdaughter for a return favor."

Humans spend years, if not decades of their lives looking at the back of their eyelids, amirite?

Well we gotta check for cracks