Friend: "Quick, dude! Take this bullet for me!" hands me a bullet
Me: "You owe me one, man."
It really is......I mean if parents didn't use all of these anti-bacterial and disinfecting wipes maybe their kid wouldn't have the immune system of a tomato.
No, this is Patrick.
Guess what I use as a ski?
I wanted to be a train track. (I was a disturbed child.)
Takin' out the trash... at night!
Can you imagine the farts afterwards?
"How did you do that!?!?" "Magic."