You would take a bullet for your best friend, amirite?

Friend: "Quick, dude! Take this bullet for me!" hands me a bullet
Me: "You owe me one, man."

Studies have shown that because of global warming, allergies and hay fever are growing more severe for people. "Gee, that's a real shame!" Comments a polar bear balancing on an ice cube in the ocean. amirite?
@FlyingGuineaPig Tell that to all the old people insisting the "kids with severe peanut allergies" thing is just over-protective parents.

It really is......I mean if parents didn't use all of these anti-bacterial and disinfecting wipes maybe their kid wouldn't have the immune system of a tomato.

If butterflies fall in love, what do they feel in their stomachs, amirite?
When a guitar eats you middle toe a kangaroo will lose a race to a turtle, amirite?
Some people say my head's to big for my body, and I'm like COMPARED TO WHAT! amirite?

Guess what I use as a ski?

When you were little you wanted to be something unreasonable, stupid, and low-paying, amirite?

I wanted to be a train track. (I was a disturbed child.)

Doing stuff late at night makes it seem so much cooler, amirite?

Takin' out the trash... at night!

No man can eat 50 eggs. amirite?

Can you imagine the farts afterwards?

Our answer to almost everything involves the word "magic", amirite?

"How did you do that!?!?" "Magic."