People in big cities have tiny dogs because their apartments are small. amirite?

And they'd rather not pick up enormous poops.

Chickens have breasts even though they don't produce milk. amirite!

They have pectoral muscles and not mammary glands, correct. Most birds (at least the ones capable of flight) have very large pectoral muscles proportionate to the rest of their body.

There is no evolutionary Funktion behind the sensation of itching. amirite

What's Funktion? Itchiness is useful - the purpose is to cause the desire to scratch, which can remove bugs from your skin.

Someone today just bought the pet that will eat them. right?
Stars make light.... and human beings... amirite?

...make orphans cry

Life is like this train that you spend trying to speed up until your 20s, and spend the rest of your life trying to slow down, amirite?

I've always viewed life as a train. More like time. It can feel slow, fast, but you can't go backwards. You can look back but not go forward at will.

"Needless to say" is the most useless phrase in the english language, amirite?

I'll raise you, ‘as per my previous email'