+271It's a shame most people don't know the opposite of always, coming, from, take, me, down, amirite?
+1,251The difference between a cat and a comma is that one has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause. amirite?
+2,993Two men walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies, amirite?
+1,2361. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other. amirite?
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+1,407It's sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels. amirite?
+1,106Telling someone that they're one in a million isn't too special anymore; it's like saying, "There are almost 7,000 people who could replace you.", amirite?
+1,209You can’t prove there isn’t a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs, but it seems pretty unlikely, amirite?
+3,655My first word should have been "quote", so that right before I die I could say "end-quote", amirite?
+2,925Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters, perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. amirite?
+9,368"George Washington was the first president." OK, I'll buy it. "There are billions of stars in the galaxy." I believe that one too. "Columbus sailed to the new world in 1492." He sure did. "Careful sir, the plate is hot." I'm going to test this one out for myself, amirite?