See that pregnant teen over there? She was raped. See that guy doing his homework from last night? He convinced his friend out of suicide. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that guy who is sobbing? His mother is dying. See that show-off guy? He's standing up to bullies. See that fat woman? She has a health problem. Don't judge people if you don't know their life. ... amirite?

See that beautiful woman over there? She marries old men and then kills them for the insurance money. See that kind man helping a small child? He's a child molester. See that adorable little boy? He punched his mother in the stomach yesterday causing her to miscarry. See that lovely and polite gentleman? He runs a white power organisation in his spare time.

FUCKING JUDGE EVERYONE

Randomly purchasing 32 watermelons and then eating 17 of them isn't normal, but on math it is, amirite?

Teacher: Timmy, if you had $20 and asked your dad for $10, how much would you have?
Timmy: $20
Teacher: You don't know your maths!
Timmy: You don't know my dad!

Instead of the Evolution Theory or the Creation Theory, every school should just teach Simon’s Theory: “Simon, how did the world begin?” “IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED, OK?” “But why are we here?” “BECAUSE SHUT THE FUCK UP, THAT’S WHY”, Amirite?

THE SCHOOL OF ST. SIMON

(I was declared a Saint coz the Pope was like “Holy shit dude, why aren’t you a Saint yet?” and I was like “I know, right?”)

1. Every student shuts the fuck up and sits the fuck down in school and listens to their teacher, because kids backtalk too much these days.
2. Bullying will not be eradicated, and it will in fact be encouraged – kids nowadays are pussies. Learning to defend yourself and learning to develop a thick skin and not take shit seriously is an important part of education.
3. You don’t drop out, and if you do, you’re forced to either enter a trade course to learn how to be a plumber or something, or forced straight into work. No one is ending up on welfare on my watch.
4. If you’re too retarded to put a condom on, use birth control, dental dams, lubricant, etc., then you’re too retarded to have sex. And no sex at all before 16 – age of consent, motherfuckers.

god is real if someone come from the futer,god is not real if no one comes from the futer and we made the time macne also we were first than the futer, amirite?

Everyone calm the fuck down.
I have been to the future, and that's how we spell stuff in 3023

You defy at least one stereotype, amirite?

Im a douchebag but I don't flip my collar up.

WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY?
THIS SITE GIVES ME MILLIONS OF HOURS OF VIDEOS FOR FREE, AND NOW THEY CHANGE ON ME?

CHANGE IS BAD AND MAKES ME RAGE

Instead of the Evolution Theory or the Creation Theory, every school should just teach Simon’s Theory: “Simon, how did the world begin?” “IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED, OK?” “But why are we here?” “BECAUSE SHUT THE FUCK UP, THAT’S WHY”, Amirite?
@Simon THE SCHOOL OF ST. SIMON (I was declared a Saint coz the Pope was like “Holy shit dude, why aren’t you a Saint...

5. People are gonna have different religions, beliefs, cultures, etc. You’re gonna have to live with these people, so suck it up and deal with it. However, if someone has a really insane belief (ex. Holocaust denial) feel free to point and laugh at them at every available opportunitity.
6. If you fail a year, you have to go back to Year 1 and start again. Similar to the Elite four in Pokemon . If you fail Year 6, you have to go back to Year 1 and do that, then Year 2, then Year 3, etc.
7. If I find out that any teacher is a paedophile, I will personally go to their house, kick them in the crotch, bash them with a cricket bat, give them the middle finger and then fire them.
8. The debating club will be run like real politics – it doesn’t matter what you say, how good a point you make, whether your position is correct, etc. – all that matters is how many friends you have, and how much people like you.

Instead of the Evolution Theory or the Creation Theory, every school should just teach Simon’s Theory: “Simon, how did the world begin?” “IT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED, OK?” “But why are we here?” “BECAUSE SHUT THE FUCK UP, THAT’S WHY”, Amirite?
@Simon 5. People are gonna have different religions, beliefs, cultures, etc. You’re gonna have to live with these...

9. No socialisation that isn’t related to education. Be a fag in your own time, when you’re at school, you’re here to learn shit, not talk about the weekend.
10. To quote Summer Heights High: “If you fuck up in school, then you’re gonna fuck up in life. And that’s fucked.”

Women's masturbation should be called 'Jilling Off', amirite?
@Serg That would require Jill to be a transexual

Jack and Jill went up the hill
So Jack could lick Jill's fanny
Jack came down with a frown
Because Jill's a bloody tranny

It would be really funny if the GPS changed voices depending on what part of town you are in. YOOO Man, Yawll enturrin da ghetto! teerrrn leffft and' hit up tha likor store beeotch! Nah Nah Nah Nah Yawll misst da teeern. You are reallly dumm. Fur reel. amirite?
@DanielJames Wasn't this POTD before or am I going insane? I'll ask those talking chipmunks on my window sill.

It was already a pretty famous post because of Dean_Thomas's comment.

I was hoping it was gonna be about Bin Laden so I could post this:
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and get like fifty loves :(

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire should be renamed Harry Potter and the Year Nobody Got a Haircut, amirite?

Instead of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - Harry Potter and There Was Some Rule During The Holidays That Students Are Allowed To Wear Muggle Clothes For Some Reason

@1229866

Anthony and the mods have gone mad with power.

Also, "Anthony and the mods" sounds like a pub rock band.

Girls: you don't care how big a guy's wiener is, because all that really matters is how big the wiener in his heart is, amirite?

Perfect post, I agree 110%, best post ever, should be POTD twice, 10/10 would read again, 420 smoke weed

You freaked out when you realized you wouldn't be able to write your essay because Wikipedia was blocked. Then you realized you may have to face an eternity of unwritten essays, amirite?

I love the Internet:
Image in content
Image in content

This is better than when Rick Perry used a gay man's music in his anti-gay ad.

Animal testing may be wrong, but letting thousands of people die from possibly curable diseases is worse. amirite?
@Phineas_and_Ferb thank you! i try telling this to people all the time. its like the animal commercials to adopt a pet, you should...

Getting a pet dog is a different situation to sponsoring a child.

And, I know this isn't relevant to the post, but it's just a "Always someone worse" argument. Like, someone wants to donate money to an animal abuse charity, and then someone points out there are women living in poverty, and people are more important than animals.

So the first person decides to donate money to the women living in poverty, but then someone else points out that the women may be poor, but they have homes, and there are homeless youth that could use the money more.

So the person decides to donate money to homeless youth organisation, but then another person says that at least these homeless youth are homeless in a 1st world country where they can at least eat food out of garbage cans and get water from drinking fountains, and people in 3rd world countries don't even have that.

In the end, just let people donate to the causes that are important to them.