Standing alone with a stranger in the elevator always calls for uncomfortable silence, amirite?

Try talking in the elevator. It scares the humans.

There should be something that keeps iPod headphones from falling out. amirite?

There is. It's called "buy a pair of real headphones not ear buds".....but those always make you feel geeky, don't they? This is a losing battle, lol.

In Soviet Russia, car DRIVE you, amirite?

These jokes would be so much funnier if the kids posting them were actually alive when there WAS a Soviet Russia. Google Jakob Smirnoff THERE were some jokes about Soviet Russia.