Try talking in the elevator. It scares the humans.
There is. It's called "buy a pair of real headphones not ear buds".....but those always make you feel geeky, don't they? This is a losing battle, lol.
These jokes would be so much funnier if the kids posting them were actually alive when there WAS a Soviet Russia. Google Jakob Smirnoff FFS...now THERE were some jokes about Soviet Russia.