+251Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That's not lazy, that's proactive.
+107It's in the darkest times that we are able to shine the most. Or directly guide our knee/toe into the sharpest corner of furniture available, amirite?
+324I dont say “no” to drugs, i say “no thank you” because I was raised with manners unlike some of you hoodlums
+137Accordion to recent surveys, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected, amirite?
+352Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him
+91"Run forest run!" But alas the Amazon could not escape in time. Thus began years of horrible pollution and genocidal deforestation. The end.
+172Everyone criticizes the Salem Witch Trials, but we haven't had a witch attack in over 200 years.
+430Being an atheist is okay. Being an atheist and shaming religions and spirituality as silly and not real is not okay. Being a Christian is okay. Being homophobic, misogynistic, racist or an otherwise hateful person and blaming it on your religion is not okay. Being a reindeer is okay. Bullying and excluding another reindeer because he has a shiny red nose is not okay, amirite?