How to get over your fear of the dark: As soon as you turn the lights off, start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”, amirite?

This helped me get over my fear of crowded places too.

It would suck if Hitler actually meant "I hate Juice" but people misheard him, amirite?

-Did he say "Glass of juice" or "Gas the Jews"?
-I dunno, but he's in a pretty bad mood, so we'd best do both just incase.

I know why they call it Post of the Day. It's because the acronym is POTD, and if you sound that out, it sounds like "party", which is what a Post of the Day is, amirite?
@for those who disagree say "pot-d" its party with an accent!

(Miss.Brittany): What the hell kind of accent have you got?!

I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to start any trouble, but it should be an even number. amirite?
You find the fact that "Mickey Mouse" spelled backwards is "Satan" very unsettling, amirite?

I love the way people felt the need to comment that it doesn't, it's like they think the rest of us are just sitting here going "Spelling? Fuck that, I'm taking this guy's word for it."

In Harry Potter, Hagrid seems to be a very indecisive person. For example, in the first movie, his little hut is just down the hill from Hogwarts, then each movie he relocates, some farther from the school, some closer. It's also pretty weird how the forest moves with it... amirite?

"I'm alright with the moving staircases and the tree that beats the shit out of things, but has anyone noticed that Hagrid's hut is sometimes slightly further away?"

Ariel from the little mermaid is the hottest disney princess, amirite?

wary smilie

I think there is more good than evil in this world. It's just that a bomb sounds louder than a hug. amirite?

Not the way I hug people hello smilie

We all dial wrong numbers at some point but why dont we ever end up having a celebrity on the line? It'd be nice if you said "Hello, dad?" and got "No, this is Barrack Obama" as a reply, amirite?

I don't think people do that.
Usually when I get a wrong number they say "I'm sorry, you have the wrong number." and not "I'm sorry, this is Eric Davis"

Chaos is beauty, beauty is pain, pain builds strength; Order is safety, safety is comfortable, being comfortable keeps us from progress. So laws keep us from progress and make us weaker, amirite?

This post doesn't make sense, things which don't make sense cause confusion, confusion causes ignorance, ignorance causes hate, hate causes evil, evil causes fear, fear causes aggression, aggression causes war.
So this post must be responsible for war.
You cunt.

A recent study in USA revealed that 30% of male students at HARVARD university would be interested in raping someone. That's scary and messed up, amirite?
@swimlax Either that or they took analysis tests. "Do you often struggle to get someone to love you voluntarily, or do you...

That's hardly fair
"If someone tells you you can't have what you want, do you still want it?"
"He's a rapist."

You hate it when people text you "k" because you're rarely in the mood to ever talk about potassium. amirite?
Funny prank: Change all the names in someone's phonebook to other peoples' names, and then while they're trying to figure it out you beat them to death with a crowbar, amirite?
@...that's not funny, just sorta... dumb.

I am sorry you feel that way. I will try harder next time.

Being alone in the room you tried to kill yourself in feels really creepy. amirite?

Reading a post that is openly aimed at people who've legitimately tried to kill themselves as though it's a completely acceptable hobby for the average teen to do feels creepy also.
Who the fuck put this on the homepage?

My oldest approached me today, and told me he was feeling suicidal. I said, "Hang in there, son," and pointed to the spare room, amirite?
@justaskme Dear god, i HOPE this is a joke

Of course it's a joke.
Really what he did was stab his son in the throat.