About me.

... I hate writing profiles. Weird, considering I usually can't shut up about myself.



I'm a precisely in my mid-teens.
I'm bilingual and a half. I like taking credit for this despite the fact that it took zero effort on my part.
I read too many books.
I'm an IB student. Or at least, I was until January 25th. It appears some of my teachers have fled the country ... (ah, the silver lining of the revolutionary chaos).

I made WAY too many fabulous anonymous posts. I've got like nine or ten homepaged anon posts. It's terribly unfair because the only reason I was anonymous was because I was too lazy to log in (My anon name IS usually toolazytologin. Or GarfieldOnAMonday ... either way, my own laziness got the better of me. Screw it.)

... here, have a sad story ... my old account name used to be Bingo, then I changed it because it was named after my dog and I've lost my dog ...

/sad story.

And because they're in fashion, have some quotes:

Ronnie Khalil: So, welcome to the show, my name is Ronnie ... well, actually, Ronnie isn't my real name. It
is common knowledge that if an American cannot pronounce your name they will change it for you. Like "Your name is ... Abdul Rah ... wha? You know what? Imma just call you Abe."

Ronnie Khalil: My dad always told me that the most important things you need to look for in a wife are the three B's. Brains, beauty ... and bersonality.
Audience: (laughs)
Ronnie Khalil (looks relieved): I'm glad you laughed! Last time i told this joke to an Arab audience they all stared at me and said, "What's za broblem? Ze advice is berfect!"

Ronnie Khalil: You know, being Egyptian and living in America was hard, of course. Every time i met someone Jewish, they'd be like: "You Egyptians! You helped enslave our people!" ... (rolls eyes) Yeah, that was me. Pharoah turned to me and said, "Ronnie, what do you think?" and i said, "Naaaaaaah, screw it, make 'em work!".



Dean Obidallah: I found out recently that the CIA can find out any book checked out from any library. For some reason, national security wants to know what you're reading! George Bush wants to know what you're reading! And you know why? He's /jealous./

Dean Obidallah: We're just going to live with it; we're everyone enemies now ... until someone replaces us! So, I would like you all to help me taunt North Korea as much as possible.

Ahmed Ahmed: Ever since 9/11, hate crimes against Arabs have gone up over 50 percent. Can you believe that? And you know what? We're still number four after gays, blacks, and Jews. Number four. I mean, what do we have to do?! Can't we win at just one thing?

Ahmed Ahmed: Dubai is like a schizophrenic city. You'll have a mosque on one street, and a nightclub right opposite it. You'll be walking down the street, and what you'll hear is ... Alllaaaaaaaaaaaaaho akbaaaaaaaaaar allaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah - boom ba da boom ba da boom ba da boom!''

Kader: When i have kids, i'm going to give them great names. If it's a boy, i'll name him Al. Al Kader (Al Qaeda). And if i have a girl - i'll name her Darth. Darth Kader.

Kader: You know what's funny about Arabs? They love swearing in English. They'd be all ****! In English, but never in Arabic! Apparently, God can't speak English.

Kader: So, i was with my cousin in the Middle East some time ago, and we were driving down the road, and he's going on about how much he hates Americans and all that. He's like, '' F Americans! Americans are so fing stupid, who do they think they are! They should go back to their country, the ****s.'' And then he stops, and looks at me, and he's all, ''So, you hungry? What would you like to eat? There's McDonalds, Starbuckess, KFC - you sure? No? Well, how about Wendy's? You like Wendy's?''

And now I part in the wise words of Albus Dumbledore: Blubber! Oddment! Nitwit! Tweak!