If you're taking a girl out on a first date, and you don't know her favorite flowers, you should definitely get her:

You can't go wrong with a pet rock

A poem is always better if rhymed. It connects the meaning more closely to the mind. It's deeper- it sharpens the words; makes them bright. It gives it more rhythm and tone, Amirite?

The little bits of shit represent life's obstacles, and how they always mix in with the joy that is life. Rather than being two separate entities, they are a package deal.

It conveys the message that without life's hardships, there can be no full enjoyment of life's benefits. The narrator of the poem has come to terms with this to such a degree that he is grateful to the shit for being there to make him realize how much there is that he could let it ruin for him, but for that very reason gets past it, and enjoys the tits nonetheless.

Thank you, I would have gotten none of this had that not rhymed

The support of something should not be the degradation of the opposite.
@KickAss Only if you're gay

Shut up. Gay people are awesome, all straight people suck

When people say "I'm street smart", this is what I hear: "I can't do the simplest math problems or tell you who won the civil war, but I can make a drug deal", amirite?

It's probably not very "street smart" to brag about how good a drug dealer you are.

I give you a group of three. One is sitting down and will never get up. The second eats as much as is given to him, yet is always hungry. The third goes away and never returns. What are they?

The three worst children ever.

Is South Park offensive to you?

It often brings up a strong point. It uses offensive language, but most often it does so to make fun of those who use it. I think it's fairly tasteful. It's not just soliciting laughter from profanity.

There are many wild animals that you'd like to have as a pet if they were tame, amirite?

I'd finally get a pet rock that won't run away

Your favorite part of the Bible is when God gave Earth free will and then flooded it for not doing what he wanted
@acsorg My favorite part of the Bible is context. You realize you are oversimplifying to the point of creating a logical...

I don't feel that people doubt religion just because they're looking for excuses to. I believe the most valuable thing (possibly the only valuable thing) about religion is the morals that it teaches. I don't believe faith alone has any meaning or importance. What matters is how you act in life, and if you don't need any religion to live with good morals, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Many people have more than enough reason to doubt God, and I think that that has no significance in their worth as people whatsoever. The only thing that matters is how one acts, and what morals one adheres to.

If you could be remembered for one thing it would be
If there was a button in front of you that, every time you pressed it, would make a random person (who would want it and deserves it) happy for the rest of their lives, but gave you a 1/30 chance of dying, you'd press it at least once, Amirite?
@Altoid_Freak_250 I would do it and hope that most others would too.

I'd press it once, then wait until i'm on my deathbed and mash the sh*t out of it until i die

Hungry people: food is good, amirite?

Even if it's extinct, the prehistoric shark (Helicoprion) is freaking scary, amirite?

I can see why a mouth like that would bring it to extinction. Seriously, it probably bites itself in the face all the time.

When you drop something, you often catch it with your other hand before it hits the ground, amirite?

I kick it back up with my foot. I'm afraid to hold babies.

Most criminals only do what they think is right because they think the law is wrong, and their only true distinction from non-criminals is their misguidedness. It makes it far too easy to get carried away with anger and hatred when we forget that. It's easy to believe they deserve to suffer when we reject the notion that we could have just as easily been in their place if we'd been subjected to the same propaganda or teachings they were. It does not condone their acts, but they do not deserve to suffer in repentance for something they don't see as wrong, amirite?

I'd like to clarify that I'm not saying criminals should not be punished. They should at least be kept away from society for its protection. I'm saying that it's wrong to wish horrible suffering on a criminal for what they did, because it's not going to help them and they still don't accept that they've done something wrong. The suffering will be pointless, and it's wrong for us to feel good just because a wrongdoer is in pain.

Marriage: a union between people, called spouses, that establishes rights and obligations. Nobody is saying anything about the gender of the spouses, or about their numbers. What’s the big deal if two girls want to marry a guy, or three guys want to marry a girl, or six guys want to marry each other, who cares? Why is this even a point of contention? Amirite?

I think people couldn't imagine it working out if they did it, and by extension conclude that it's not worth letting others try because the marriage would become less personal and perhaps affect the children raised in it. I think that this becomes true at a certain point (imagine 100 people interlocked in marriage- could a child really be raised together by all of them and have a close relationship with them all? How about 1000 people?), but with smaller numbers of people I think it could work and we shouldn't forbid people from trying because it's too complicated for us personally