All of my flowers except two are roses. All of my flowers except two are tulips. All of my flowers except two are daisies. How many flowers do I have?
Four gentlemen (Adam, Bill, Chuck, and Dan) went to an expensive restaurant to dine. They checked their coats, hats, gloves, and canes at the door (each of the gentlemen had one of each). But when they checked out, there was a mix up, and each of the men ended up with exactly one article of clothing (a pair of gloves is considered a single article of clothing) belonging to each one of the four. Adam and Bill ended up with their own coats, Chuck ended up with his own hat, and Dan ended up with his own gloves. Adam did not end up with Chuck's cane. State whose coat, hat, gloves, and cane each of the gentlemen ended up with.

Adam had his own coat, Bill's hat, Chuck's gloves and Dan's cane.
Bill had Adam's gloves, his own coat, Chuck's cane and Dan's hat.
Chuck has Adam's cane, Bill's gloves, his own hat and Dan's coat.
Dan had Adam's hat, Bill's cane, Chuck's coat and his own gloves.

A father is four times as old as his son. In twenty years, he'll be twice as old. How old are they now?

The son is 10 and the father is 40.

An explorer was trekking through a remote jungle when he was captured by logic-loving cannibals. He was brought before the chief and told, "You may now speak your last words. If your statement is true, then we will burn you at the stake. If your statement is false, we will boil you in oil." The man thought for a moment, then made his statement. Perplexed, the clever cannibals realized they could do nothing but let him go. What did the explorer tell them?

'I am lying'.

Mike is a butcher. He is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?
A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. How many are left?
A cowboy rides into town on Tuesday. He is tired, so he decides to stay at the town's hotel. He rides out of town on Sunday. He hasn't left town in the meantime or stayed anywhere else, but he only pays the hotel for two nights. How does he do it, without breaking the law?

His horse is called Sunday!

How much dirt is there in a hole that is 3 ft deep, and 6 inches in diameter?
You are driving a bus. Six people get on, two people get off, then ten people get on and five people get off, then eight people get on and four more people get off. What colour were the bus driver's eyes?
When your at the grocery store you throw random things in the cart to see if your mom will end up buying them, amirite?

Yes, because I love to waste my family's money on random things, and piss people off in the process.

The same scientists who say that God can not exist because of no proof, have no trouble believing in aliens or higher life forms. Amirite?

It's not belief, it's exploring the possibility that there might be life outside of Earth. Similarly, there might not be, the scientists are just gathering evidence to put their belief one way or the other.

Should people with any type of autism be put in a mental institution?

Only if the family feels that they cannot look after them or that they are a significant threat to society. My brother has autism and, although our family finds it very hard sometimes, in our current situation we would NEVER send him to live anywhere but with us. He has behavourial difficulties which have consequences but there is absolutely no need to take such severe measures and we would simply not do it.
Saying that, I've talked to people who have had children with such bad autism that they cannot function and put strain on their family every minute of the day and (although it is heartbreaking for them, and they visit often) they send their child/ren to live in a home. Although this must only be considered in the most serious situations, and should never happen when it is not needed, I completely understand some people's reasons for doing so. However, it should DEFINITELY not be the overall solution in treating people on the autistic spectrum.

Females: How often to you have to shave your legs?

I usually shave my legs every few days in the summer. In the winter, I only do it when the hair starts to annoy me, probably every two weeks or so.

People who aren't British but say "mum" just because they're trendy hipsters are annoying, amirite?

We have people that aren't American and say 'mom' instead of 'mum' in the UK. People should be able to call their parents what they like (within reason) but personally it just annoys me and I wouldn't do it.

The concept of 'nothing' leaves you literally mind blown and the only answer you can come up with for the question 'what is nothing?' is that the human brain must not be designed to understand, amirite?

Nothing does not exist as there is not anything to exist. However, the concept of nothing exists, as there must be a way to describe it - nothing is something when describing the idea of it.

If you ate nothing for breakfast, that doesn't mean that you ate something, it just means you have a way to describe not having breakfast. Although we have created the idea of and a word for having nothing, which both exist, it doesn't stop nothing from not existing as an object.

Ok, reading this back is confusing me, sorry if it doesn't make any sense.