Saying "guns don't kill people, bullets do," is like saying "I haven't raped anyone, but my dick has," amirite?

My favorite is "If guns don't kill people, people kill people, does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast?" My bomb went off too early

Anonymous +99Reply
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you.", amirite?

Adam was in the garden, watching all the animals, and had an idea... "God", said Adam, "I need a partner, like the animal's, someone else to be with."

God thought about it for a while, and came back to Adam, and said "I think I can help you out, but, it's going to cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam paused, and asked, "Well what can you get me for a rib?"

It would be fun to legally change your name to be full of silent letters and act furious whenever somebody mispronounces it. "Hey, um... Knoghtsrjlka?" "IT'S NORA," amirite?

i always have trouble with this in IKEA.

Anonymous +4Reply
Guys: it's awkward when a girl asks if you like the top or bottom better and you have to explain that you don't have a bunkbed, amirite?

It's also awkward when a girl asks what position is your favorite and you have to admit that your not a fan of baseball

Anonymous +8Reply
Worlds shortest horror story: The last man on earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door. Amirite?

I like this one better.

Worlds shortest horror story:
President Santorum.

It's absolutely horrible when you're 12 and no one will tell you what this is, amirite?

Oh bro it's even worse when youre fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, cos you're gonna believe them.


When I was a baby, my family was taking a picture at Walmart. I wouldn't stop crying, so they gave me a lemon and I stopped. I heard this story when I found that picture and asked my mom why I was holding a lemon.

So when life gives you lemons, go to Walmart and give them to babies.

Valentines day is one of the best days of the year though.

If you're in a relationship, great.

If you aren't, go to a restaurant and slip fake engagement rings into glasses of champagne or leave a positive pregnancy test on the sink of a male friend in a relationship. Fun can be had by all.

@I'm single and I lol'd.

I'm forever alone and I cried.

It's really annoying when someone makes a post about other posts, amirite?

I think it's annoying how some people make posts about others making posts about posts.

It's really annoying when someone makes a post about other posts, amirite?

I see what you did there