Girls: you know that loud thing you can do with your vocal cords? Don't. amirite?

On a scale of quietest to loudest:
Vacuum Cleaner
Loud traffic
Chainsaw
TV on maximum volume
Jackhammer
Group of exited screaming teenage girls
Rocket Launch

Far into the future, after everyone living on the earth right now is dead, someone will somehow find and be able to read everyone's old Facebook accounts and deem them fit to use to trace their ancestors. The problem with this is that we all have our best friends listed as "daughter", "son," or "grandfather," amirite?

"And while previous records have shown that having large numbers of children was fairly uncommon in the 21st century, the discovery of Facebook has proved differently. According to this record, it is not abnormal for individuals from this era to have 10, even 20 siblings. As many of these siblings have different last names, we can assume that polygamy was a common practice in the 21st century as well."

You hate it when people text you "k" because you're rarely in the mood to ever talk about potassium. amirite?

I get confused when people say 'FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF' when they're angry because I don't understand what large amounts of Fluorine have to do with rage.

I don't care if you're trying to be 'politically correct', you don't understand how stupid you sound when you refer to black people in Europe as African-Americans, amirite?

Heheh, this post reminds me of someone my geography teacher had in class:

Teacher: So if you went to Africa, what would you expect to see?
Kid: Lots of African-Americans.
Teacher: There aren't any African-Americans in Africa.
Kid: Then what are you supposed to call them?
Teacher: Africans.

It's weird how the Extreme Conservatives say they stand for less Government when they are the ones who want the government to; stop the building building of mosques, interfere with Gay marriage, stop the gay lifestyle, stop abortions, make everyone follow the bible, and to enforce a Christianized lifestyle. Amirite?

Yep. These are the same people who rant and rave about how the government is taking away their freedoms, and then turn around and try to take away the freedoms of anyone who isn't a heterosexual, Christian male.

The Royal Wedding, live on YouTube.
The Royal Honeymoon, live on RedTube, amirite?
@"Almost, almost, allllmost. There we are." "Well done."

"You know, Margret, we could be having sexual intercourse right now."
"Yes, yes we could."
"But let's not."

Automatic doors: you hate when you open for every customer and no one thanks you, amirite?

It's a THAAAAANKLESS job, but somebody's got to do it!
(YouTube video thumbnail)

It takes a real man to cry because puppets and robots can't shed tears, amirite?

"Being a robot's great and all, but we don't have feelings and sometimes that makes me very sad." - Bender

The Sham-Wow was a scam, shamirite?

Are you saying that the Sham-Wow was a...Scam-Wow?

puts on sunglasses
YEEEEAAAHHHHHH!

You know some people that were probably children when they were younger, amirite?

Meh, I prefer to associate myself with the type who came out of the womb fully grown and wearing a suit.

Jaywalking? More like jay-running-the-fuck-across-the-street-and-hope-you-don't-get-hit, amirite?

Or from personal experience, jay-walk-casually-across-the-street-not-noticing-the-car-heading-toward-you-then-make-them-slam-on-the-brakes-to-avoid-hitting-you-then-stop-once-they're-stopped-stare-at-them-urge-them-on-and-then-start-walking-again-as-soon-as-they-try-to-go.

It's stupid how some girls make their Facebook status "showerr textt" ... do you take your phone into the shower? amirite?

"Taking a dump. Texxtttttt."

Those facial cleansers that boast about being "mild enough to use on a baby's delicate skin" are annoying. I don't want any of that crap, give me some hardcore stuff that's illegal in like 19 different countries, amirite?

HARDCORE! face wash: Made with SCORPION EXTRACT and HYDROCHLORIC ACID! >:D

"Butt-load" and "shit-ton" should be actual measurements of volume and weight, respectively. Then you could say things like "kilobutt-load" and "microshit-ton" as well as "gigashit-tons per nanobutt-load". Amirite?

I think I'm going to start using these units of measurement now.

I’m only donating elf costumes to clothing drives this winter. If I have to warm up the homeless, they can liven up my Christmas, amirite?

"Daddy, why is one of Santa's elves sitting on that street corner asking for change?"
"Well, it all started when this thing called the economy started going downhill..."