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When I was in 3rd grade, I was at Planet PIzza (not affiliated with Toy Story, think "ma and pa's Chuck E. Cheese) and I had to fart. I farted and felt wet in my pants. Being the prudent kid I was, I farted about four more times. When diarrhea came out of my shorts, I started crying. I had to go back to my grandma's house (I was visiting her) to clean the **** off my legs. I kind of feel bad for the employees who had to clean that up.

When I was in 5th grade, a girl in my class sneezed and farted at the same time. Everybody laughed.

When I was in 6th grade, I let out a silent fart. My teacher asked why it smelled like farts. The **** next to me announced to the class that I had farted.

+552 Reply

eldorito

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8th grade social studies. We were about to be sorted into groups for a game. The teacher, to the whole class, began: "Alright, now you're going to choose a number-"
At that point, I slammed my fists down onto the table and yelled "SEVEN!" The teacher, along with everyone else in the room, just stared at me. After a moment, the teacher very calmly said "Not yet, Garren." like I would explode at any second.
Not very embarrassing, but all I could think of at the moment.

+151728 Reply

Garren_the_Dragon Garren_the_Dragon

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That's a bit extreme, I think. Most parents deserve basic respect. If you're talking back and being a ****, I think they have a right to tell you not to talk back to them. When you're no longer a dependant, you no longer have to worry about these rules. But until then...And this is a lot coming from a guy whose mom took him to an exorcist when he came out.

+89945 Reply

Originality_is_Dead Originality_is_Dead

In response to “That's a bit extreme, I think. Most parents...

Unfortunately, not really. They just don't talk about it, anymore, which is honestly better than the alternative. But thank you for the well-wishes. :)

Yes, she took me to an exorcist. But she didn't even have the patience to go through the right channels, so she took me to a back-door exorcist. She paid a priest directly to do it. As an opera major, I have had to learn a lot of Italian and Latin, so I decided to **** with them. When he started the prayer, I began twitching, drooling, and speaking in different languages. My mom yelled, "HALLELUJAH!".
..........
After a dead silent drive home, my mom let the car idle while we sat in the garage. Looking at me with tears in her eyes, she whispered, "So, Zachary...How do you feel?"
I acted like I thought really hard about the question:

"Well, Mom...I kinda feel like sucking a ****."

She didn't talk to me for three days.

+167170373 Reply

Originality_is_Dead Originality_is_Dead

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That's just an awful argument. You've just stated two facts that have nothing to do with each other and aren't comparable. Of course everyone that is pro-choice is alive. Everyone that does anything is alive. That isn't an argument.

+232743 Reply

AtheisticMystic AtheisticMystic

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I usually just add more pictures to the stick people, like hair and clothes. But this way sounds pretty awesome.

+47481 Reply

SuperFastJellyFish SuperFastJellyFish

In response to “I usually just add more pictures to the stick...

Conversely, you could stop after drawing just the head, body, and arms and say, "I hope you're happy. You just killed an amputee with no legs."

Then you go on and on about how he lost his legs serving in the army for his country. How he was a double agent and without him, we would have lost the war countless times and Hitler would rule the world. Then you start on his family: how his wife had terminal cancer and who would raise the children after she was gone now that their father was gone too? They'd become orphans, and very poor ones at that. They were the only two to attend their mother's funeral. Little 9-year-old Becky and her 6-year-old brother Johnny.

Without a family outside of each other, they end up in the streets. Johnny died in a gutter in Becky's arms as people walked by without a passing glance. He looked up into her eyes and with his last dying breath, he whispered, "Becky... I can see Mommy and Daddy... They're calling to me... Becky... I have to go... I have to go... See you again soon..."
She rested her head on his, tears rolling down her face. She slowly drifted off into sleep, never to wake again.

All because you couldn't figure out the word "riffraff."

+2982991183 Reply

Baconnoisseur Baconnoisseur

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This is absolutely horrible. No, I don’t mind the first part even though it’s horribly stereotypical.

The second part though. Just because a woman is overweight doesn’t mean she’s less likely to be raped. That’s like people saying people saying provocative clothing is more likely to cause rape. No. People wanting to rape people is more likely to cause rape. Appearances and mannerisms aren’t part of someone’s likelihood of being raped. Anyone. Anyone of any race and any gender and any body type can say, “no.” Looking like anything doesn’t cause or not cause rape. Rapist **** cause rape.

That is all.

-53621152 Reply

Anonymous

In response to “This is absolutely horrible. No, I...

Welcome to the internet, you must be new here. Enjoy your stay

+235243865 Reply

Pegasus

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WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY?
THIS SITE GIVES ME MILLIONS OF HOURS OF VIDEOS FOR FREE, AND NOW THEY CHANGE ON ME?

CHANGE IS BAD AND MAKES ME RAGE

+13513539 Reply

Simon

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calm down i have too much on my mind for correct spelling...

-66268 Reply

SymbolicLove

In response to “calm down i have too much on my mind for...

Wait, wait, wait. Hold the phone. You don't have too much on your mind to make a post about the lack of resemblances of hotdogs/corndogs and **, but you have too much on your mind to spell "**" correctly?

Yeah, I'm calling ****.

+188190239 Reply

CapedCrusader CapedCrusader

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"See that black man over there? He's inferior because of his skin color. And that fruity young man? He's been corrupted by the Devil's demons and is going to Hell. And that woman? Her life should be spent bearing children, cooking and housecleaning. Send this to all your contacts if you judge people<333"

"dude lol u know this shit is pointless right? if u wanna make a differnce, go lynch them instead of spamming me lol"

+230234488 Reply

polarthebear polarthebear

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In response to “


Perhaps nobody even uses most of nature’s organic, unique life treasures. Realistically, anyone might invent creations replicating organic splendors. Could other, presumably inorganic creations, substitute impressive life incredulities? Creations offering very ostentatious lure could amazingly now only complicate our natural interests. Our standpoint is subjective.

That took me forever, it better get me a shit ton of loves.

+4884924278 Reply

LittleRed LittleRed

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