+2,979Two men walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies, amirite?
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+2,673It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb, amirite?
+2,584500 years ago when men went to war it was common for them to force their wives to wear chastity belts while they were away. Therefore, in the meantime, only a locksmith could remove these belts. This probably explains why 'Smith' is the most common name in the phonebook. amirite?
+2,724The real reason many gay men choose to stay in the closet so long is because they have to find the perfect outfit to come out in, amirite?
+1,350When it comes to food, we've been teaching our kids that it's fine to eat things such as Gingerbread Men, Animal Crackers and Gummy Bears. Surely they'd grow up with more morals if we gave them something like Jelly Jailmates? 'Hey Timmy, what're you up to?' "Just biting the head off a convicted criminal, Dad!" 'Attaboy!' amirite?
+1,397They need to make a birth control for men. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest, amirite?
+1,253It's sad that, as a race, we're more content seeing two men holding guns than two men holding hands, amirite?
+1,003The reason women can't park cars is because generations of men have been telling them that three inches is actually six, amirite?
+688The real reason that women never propose is that as soon as they get down on one knee men start unzipping, amirite?
+960Men who say women belong in the kitchen obviously don't know what to do with them in the bedroom, amirite?
+2,540Have you ever noticed that all bad things for women have the word men in there somewhere... MENstral cycles, MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdowns, MENopause, amirite?
+1,024How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen have? Enough to kill two and a half men. Amirite?
+1,072The local young men are keen on my flavoured milk drink and frequent my garden in order to sample it. They insist the quality is better than yours. amirite?
+512If gay men were allowed in the army back in WWII, Saving Private Ryan would be a lot shorter because there is no way it would take 3 hours for a group of gay men to find Matt Damon. amirite?