It's Amirite's 10th birthday!Read More
Want to be healed? Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked the angel humbly, "I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam War ... Could you help me?" "Of course," the angel said, and when he touched the man's back, the man felt relief for the first time in years. The second guy who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving. He asked if the angel could do anything about his poor eyesight. The angel smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them into the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When the angel turned to the third guy, the guy put his hands out defensively -- "Don't touch me!" he cried, "I'm on a disability pension." Link: http://www.ahajokes.com/hunt003.html
+20I wish the news stations would do follow ups to close stories they make a big deal about on a daily basis. More
0Ploughing the land ? A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? At night?" "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole." Link: http://www.ahajokes.com/farm018.html
What would you do with a talking frog? The Talking Frog An 86 year-old man is out fishing. He was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up!" He looked around and did not see any one. He thought he was dreaming until he heard the voice again. "Pick me up." The old man looked in the water and there, floating on a lilly pad was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog replied, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride." The man looked at the frog for a minute in confusion, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket. The frog screamed, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride!" He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog." *** Link: https://www.sunnyskyz.com/funny-jokes/21/The-Talking-Frog
+2Some of you wanted me to let you know when I heard anything from my father in law in Puerto Rico. I figured that rather than contact each of you individually, it would be easier to inform you here: He's okay; asking us to send solar lights. He's got food and water.
Little Knowledge Is Dangerous Before I begin my story let me introduce myself to you. My name is Subin Thomas and I am a nineteen year old boy studying my Engineering from The University of Queensland in the capital city of Brisbane, Australia. I emigrated from India-my motherland a year ago and shifted to Australia leaving behind my parents in India. Now I live with my uncle John my mother's brother. He is a 47 year old man and works as a Financial Accountant for a reputed company. We live in an apartment located quite next to the Brisbane river. In my leisure time this where I would spend most my time gazing at the beautiful sight. In our courtyard there is a mango tree which is expected to fruit this summer but some recent unseasonal rains have spoiled the prospects of eating fresh ripe mangoes. When I was in India my father would always bring plentiful mangoes for me when the season arrived and I would not hesitate and eat up to 4-5 mangoes a day! This mango tree gives me the nostalgia of the time I had with my parents. Our neighborhood is also good and the surrounding is quite clean as compared to my home in India. But keeping all the shortcomings aside I would always prefer India over all. My college is about half a mile from my house so I either walk or cycle my way through. It starts at around 8 am and I reach home by 5 pm. My uncle leaves for office at the same time and arrives back by evening. Surprisingly my Uncle prepares the dinner as he turns out to be a good cook as well. Out of the two house-keys one he had for himself and the other one for me. My house is near to a popular tourist destination Mt. Cootha about 5 miles away. It has the highest peak in Brisbane. I have been there twice for hiking. Once you reach the summit its a beautiful sight to behold. I have been to Mt. Tibrogargan as well, a 2 hour journey from our house. It was initially closed for hiking but made accessible to people since 2015. It is the tallest Glasshouse mountain accessible to public. My stay in Australia till now has been quite amazing except for one unpleasant day which taught me a lesson of my life to not to come to a conclusion unless well informed of the situation. The story goes this way........ There was something unusual about this day as I readied myself for college. The weather forecast warned of heavy rains today. Back home in India the weather reports were often false but here in Brisbane they are rarely proved wrong. Because of the rains the college shut down early today at around 3 pm. On my way back home rains poured heavily, luckily I carried an umbrella. As I reached half-way I felt as if I was being followed by a stranger. When I looked behind I could see a man in his mid forty's keeping up with me at every turn. So I hurried myself and made my way back home hastily. It was quite unusual as I had never been pursued before. I went to the balcony to see whether the man had followed me up to my house and to my relief there was no one. The first thing I did when I returned home was watch T.V and so switched it on, but because of bad weather there was no signal. I have been given some project from college so I decided to complete that and went to my room upstairs. Once I was done with it, I looked up at the watch and it was about evening. Uncle John was to return by now but there was no sign of him. I waited long enough but finally lost my patience. I tried to call him up on his cell-phone but there was no network. Perhaps he was busy with some work and might come home late tonight. I waited for some more time but to no avail. I took a short nap and when I woke up it was already past dinner time. It was getting late enough to be worried. I once again stepped into the balcony and looked down. Except for one street dog that was lying down miserably near the gate, there was not a soul to be seen anywhere. Rain water had puddled under the lamp-post. A breeze ruffled the mango tree in the courtyard and a few twigs fell down and broke. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Did I hear a soft knock at the door? I turned back. At first I thought I was mistaken by the thunder but then a second knock followed which confirmed someone was at my door outside. It was already midnight and I had someone outside my house. I wondered if it was my Uncle himself. In order to clear my suspicions I decided to let him open the door as I knew he kept a key for himself. Then came a third knock which proved that it was someone else rather than my uncle himself. I was terrified. I waited for some time but no more knocks could be heard. He must have given up I presumed. Whoever it was knew that I was alone and used the situation to his advantage. I recalled the incident on my way home when I was chased by a man and wondered if it was the same guy. I was worried if he would return back with some lock picking tools and so I again tried to call my Uncle and again there was some network issue. I faced similar issues while contacting the cops. The only thing I could no was pray that the stranger does not return. Then I was struck by an idea about setting up numerous booby traps across the house as a part of countermeasure. The first one was at the entrance door where I placed weights on top of the door kept slightly ajar ready to fall on the person attempting to pass through. These weights would make chiming sound once they fall down from that height alerting me of his presence. I even placed an electric water heater gadget on the door knob inside the house. This would heat up the doorknob on the outside of the house as well. Once the intruder grabs the doorknob in an attempt to yank it open it would surely burn off some of the skin on his hand giving him hell of a red mark and forcing him to either head to the hospital immediately to get the skin from his butt grafted onto his hands or he would at least have to use a different entrance to get into the house, depending on how long he held onto the doorknob. Then as intruder makes his way into the house he would trip over the fancy toys and nails spread all across To improve his chances of stumbling down I poured oil all over the floor and kept all lights switched off. Now all the traps had been set up. The only thing I needed to do now was wait until the intruder arrives. I waited in my room upstairs and stayed vigilant. Suddenly at around 3 am I heard some squeaking noises from downstairs. My heart started racing as I knew it was the intruder who had broken into my house. I hoped that he was neutralized after setting off all my traps. I screwed up my courage and headed downstairs to check up on the intruder. As I reached the spot I saw someone of my Uncle's stature knocked out unconscious on the floor. He was bruised from head to toe. All my traps played their part and I was successful in bringing him down. Coincidentally his attire was very much similar to my uncle’s or was it really a coincidence? I switched on the lights to see who it was and could not really believe my eyes as he turned out to be uncle John himself. I immediately lifted him up and placed him on the sofa. He was still in an unconscious state so I stayed beside him and I bandaged his wounds. I felt really bad as my tactics worked but not in my favor and my own uncle fell victim to it. It was about morning around 6 am when he called up my name while I was asleep beside him in the adjacent sofa. I woke up and was relieved to see him conscious. I felt very embarrassed and told him about what happened last night. I apologized to him for the ordeal he had been through. I discussed the whole incident with him which started with successive knocks on the door at around midnight. My uncle recalled that he phoned up in the neighborhood to check up on me. So it must have been the neighbor from the adjacent house. The revelation was not easy for me to digest. The whole intruder-thing was just my imagination. My uncle had to work overtime and that was the cause of delay. The whole time since I heard the knocks, I had been under the false impression of encountering an intruder. I thought to myself that it was about time that I stopped watching lot of action movies as it reflected on my behavior. The lesson I learned from the whole incident is that one must not draw a conclusion without proper evidence as they say 'A little knowledge is a dangerous thing'. More
+8While President Chump is attacking the mayor of San Juan, she's literally wading in water using a bullhorn to find people.
-6You drink the good water...but your plants - and pets... get stuck with tap. Amirite?
isn't taking the suns energy a type of pollution? you are taking all the energy the sun can give, especially when MILLIONS of people choose and are switching to it? it does save us money in the long run ( a plate is worth $2000 minimum, that is not cheap and you need at least four or five plates each house that is at least $50,000 for 10 homes 20 homes it would cost $1000,000.00) it cost more to buy a solar panel than it does paying for your electric bill, in a shorter time. so even though it may seem we are paying nothing towards our natural energy bills but paying for the panels is pricier. and at the end we destroy the earth by using the suns energy, and that mean less photosynthesis for the flora's and that mean no food for faunas and that means we run out of food and water.