Rooting for the Right Team ? Blood may be thicker than water, but baseball beats them both. I learned this after explaining to my two boys that they were half-Lithuanian on their father’s side, and half-Yankee, meaning their other set of parents came from an old New England family. My younger son looked worried. "But we’re still a hundred percent Red Sox, right, Mom?" Link: https://www.rd.com/jokes/sports-jokes/
Do you like NOT dying when your car crashes at 5 mph, or when you breath air or drink water, or when you operate machinery or plug in a coffee maker? Do you like having the right to petition your government for transparency and accountability? OR do you miss the old days of lead poisoning, black lung disease, government collusion? Do you want to dismantle the EPA, CPSC, OSHA and NTSB? Do you think over regulation is a bigger problem than the 'profits before people' motive?
Want to be healed? Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked the angel humbly, "I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam War ... Could you help me?" "Of course," the angel said, and when he touched the man's back, the man felt relief for the first time in years. The second guy who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving. He asked if the angel could do anything about his poor eyesight. The angel smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them into the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When the angel turned to the third guy, the guy put his hands out defensively -- "Don't touch me!" he cried, "I'm on a disability pension." Link: http://www.ahajokes.com/hunt003.html
-1Ploughing the land ? A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? At night?" "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole." Link: http://www.ahajokes.com/farm018.html
What would you do with a talking frog? The Talking Frog An 86 year-old man is out fishing. He was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up!" He looked around and did not see any one. He thought he was dreaming until he heard the voice again. "Pick me up." The old man looked in the water and there, floating on a lilly pad was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog replied, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride." The man looked at the frog for a minute in confusion, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket. The frog screamed, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride!" He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog." *** Link: https://www.sunnyskyz.com/funny-jokes/21/The-Talking-Frog
+2Some of you wanted me to let you know when I heard anything from my father in law in Puerto Rico. I figured that rather than contact each of you individually, it would be easier to inform you here: He's okay; asking us to send solar lights. He's got food and water.