+2,133Hello? Mother Nature? Yes I would like to cancel my monthly subscription...Ah, I can't do that before 40 years are up? No I would not like to transfer to the 9 month plan.... amirite?
+2,128My son just spoke his first words to me: 'Dad, where the fuck have you been the last 20 years?!' It was so cute, amirite?
+2,592When zombies take over the world, everyone should go to Costco. It has thick concrete walls, years worth of supplies, and the zombies can't get in unless they have a membership card. amirite?
+3,131I put that "Take ten years off" make-up on my 9 and a half year old brother. I don't know where he went, but it might explain why my mom got fat and is acting like a bitch, amirite?
+2,586500 years ago when men went to war it was common for them to force their wives to wear chastity belts while they were away. Therefore, in the meantime, only a locksmith could remove these belts. This probably explains why 'Smith' is the most common name in the phonebook. amirite?
+954The Earth is thought to be 46 hundred million years old. It may be hard to wrap your brain around that number so lets say the Earth is just 46 years old. That means single-celled organisms arrived around 11 years, simple animals around 40, dinosaurs around 45, and humans...only 2 hours ago. This really puts human existence into perspective, amirite?
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+1,153My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It's going to be difficult though, considering how fucking sexy I am. amirite?
+1,888If texting had been around 80 years ago: "Hey sum negro whistled at a white women so were gonna go lynch him u wanna come?" "Sure ill b there in a few mins" "Kkk", amirite?
+1,004What if people really do see the things that they claim are ghosts, except they aren't really spirits or poltergeists? What if what they're really seeing is a chunk of time that got temporarily lost? So a girl could've been brushing her teeth in your bathroom 50 years ago but that time got mixed up and you're seeing it happen right now. It's not really happening, but you see it. That would be pretty creepy but insanely awesome, amirite?
+901You still remember the day he broke your heart; the day that, after all those years of him making you feel special, saying that it was "only you", you found out that he had been going around telling all the other kids they could prevent forest fires, too, amirite?
+416When you wish upon a star, you're a few million light years too late. That star is dead, just like your dreams, amirite?
+8,311It's great when you rediscover a great song (that you overplayed, got bored of and subsequently didn't play for ages) from years ago, amirite?