There are some pick-up lines which you would actually go for. amirite?

Offers hand Can you hold this while I go for a walk?

Girls: what are some sure fire, guaranteed pick up lines or strategies for a guy who has never done it before? amirite?

"If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?"

I'm not feeling myself today. May I feel you? amirite?

I lost my number. Can I have yours?

Apparently if you walk outside at night with someone else, you become kidnap-proof, amirite?

No... You just become kidnap resistant. There's a big difference between proof and resistant, as swiss watch makers will happily tell you and charge you $1000 for.

Did Noah have beavers on the ark? Where would he have kept them, amirite?
@Beavers actually dont eat wood, they just cut down trees to make homes The ark is stupid anyways, its not like noah...

Yes he couldn't fit a blue whale on the boat... If only the earth had been covered in a substance that blue whales could live in!

You know things aren't going well when you wear metal while going through the security control at airports, just to get touched by someone,amirite?
@1577523

You used to bold text by putting 2 asterisks before and after. Italics was slashes, strikethrough was dashes, and underline wass underscore.
Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

You know things aren't going well when you wear metal while going through the security control at airports, just to get touched by someone,amirite?
@1577515

( troll ) = troll smilie
( creeper ) = creeper smilie
( diamond ) = diamond smilie
( y ) = y smilie
( n ) = n smilie
( hello ) = hello smilie
( no ) = no smilie
( lolwut ) = lolwut smilie
( wary ) = wary smilie
( cool ) = cool smilie
( smile ) = smile smilie
( smirk ) = smirk smilie
( frown ) = frown smilie
( hmm ) = hmm smilie
( hehe ) = hehe smilie
( un ) = un smilie
( love ) = love smilie
( angry ) = angry smilie
( d ) = d smilie
( goo ) = goo smilie
( lhat ) = lhat smilie
( cry2 ) = (cry2)
( yum ) = yum smilie
( puke ) = puke smilie

Being the smartest person in the Kardashian family is like being the valedictorian of an Alabama high school, amirite?
Why does cat shit smell so bad? Human shit does not smell that rank and we eat some gnarly stuff. Cats only eat cat food and their shit smells THE WORST. WHY DO YOU SMELL SO BADLY CAT SHIT, amirite?
@UmmmmUmUmUmUmmmmmmm "Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?"

Smelly cat, smeellllllly cat, it's not your fault!!!

Anonymous +13Reply
"They should just make guns illegal." Yeah, that's going to solve the problem. What do bad guys do? They break the law. They are not going to care if guns are illegal. So now all the good guys have no guns to defend themselves because they are following the law and all the bad guys have guns because they don't care. That has only one ending. amirite?
@Raven I agree. I mean once i read that i thought the same thing. If anything,making guns illegal will make the gun crime...

Criminals wouldn't be the only ones we'd have to worry about. Our government taking away guns does nothing but give the government more power.

You want to scream "you're not my real ladder!" at your step-ladder, amirite?

I lost my real ladder 4 years ago, he contracted rust and he died shortly after. A step ladder later came into my life after my mum found him in the DIY section of homebase. He liked me but our relationship didn't scale the same heights as it did with my real ladder. We've tried doing relationship building activities such as painting a shed last summer, but he failed to lift me and my mood in the way my real ladder used to. He just can't support me in the same way.

You never realized how many cars there are with only one headlight till you started playing padiddles and lost your clothes. amirite?
@RedBallerina Every time you see a car with only one headlight on, you hit the ceiling of the car and the last one to hit it has...

So it's a game for people who like to see their friends naked? That... doesn't sound weird at all

A girl can wear fishnets without being a slut, amirite?

No, of course not. You can be a stripper, too.

Anonymous +19Reply
The size of a girls hoop earing is basically the size of her vagina, amirite?

The bigger the O, the bigger the ho.

Anonymous +45Reply
Why does Obama give his speeches behind bulletproof glass? Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody, amirite?

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.