Creating a national holiday for essential workers would not give essential workers a day off. amirite?

I live off fast food and the only time it bites me in the ass is Christmas day. The other 364.25 days per year regardless of it being a holiday or not I can find something open no problem

I guess living off fast food bites me in the ass health wise but let's overlook that

The feet of all humans who stand on a level surface are always pointing to the same location (the center of the earth) amirite?

Neil Armstrong begs to disagree

Some lucky person is going to be the first human to ever masturbate on Mars, amirite?
@freq432 Which is why it probs won't be a man. OP said person. Luckily there's more than one gender. 🤫

I will admit that I'm less familiar with the female body than the male but they still evolved on a planet with roughly 1G and have a circulatory system, right?

Men who prefer petite women, keep the human race from getting infinitely taller. amirite?

So at a certain point, height is a disadvantage. Certain injuries and disorders are more common in taller people. It's harder to hide. Being bigger and stronger offsets this to a point, but diminishing returns kick in at a certain point. We tall men who like short women are just making sure our kids are healthy.

You don't know how your body functions but your brain does, even though you are your brain. amirite?

Would one say my brain "knows"? Even though I don't have control over unconscious activities the brain commands

Not all dogs go to heaven, amirite?

At first I wanted to disagree with you but then I remember that there are little rat dogs and it's okay to me if they don't go to heaven

Therapists are hierarchy obsessed assholes, yet suffer from the delusion that they are altruists. amirite?

Someone needs some therapy

There is definitely some rich guy who wants to get into heaven who is commissioning a sewing needle with an eye large enough for a camel to walk through. amirite?

The Bible passage refers to a place, Eye of the needle gate in Jerusalem.

Many of us will retroactively become hypocrites for getting annoyed at old people's driving. amirite?

Oh for sure, and we will be hypocrites for many other reasons as well. Such is life.

Everything can be a murder weapon if used right.
@Nickyikky Or if used wrong.

Not murder if due to negligence.

Most of becoming smarter is feeling stupider. amirite?

"All I know is that I know nothing."

For a lot of men the objective in sex is to avoid orgasming. amirite?

To quote Neon Joe Werewolf Hunter, concerning his pre-date ritual, "Wash my pits. Squeeze one out."

No one is ever the right amount of whelmed. amirite?
Our species needs a purpose. amirite?

Yeah like take care of the other species

When male pornstars go through breakups, they don't have to worry about their exes spreading rumors about their dick size, amirite?