Considering how old the statement, "thank you, Captain Obvious" is, it's a wonder how no compant capitalized on making "Captain Obvious" a character until did. amirite?

What's a 'compant'?

Dating someone is trying a product before you buy it. Divorce is returning a product you don't like. amirite?
Squeaky doors are good for sneaky kids, amirite?

Dogs. You need a yappy dog

When we are rating something out of 10, we somehow think 7 as the average, amirite?
We aren't scared of when we're going to die, we're scared of how we are going to die, amirite?

I'm scared of when I'm going to die. Not how. I have children.

The elephant is way bigger than even the biggest birds. If the blue whale is the biggest creature that can "fly" through water, who knows what walks around on the ocean floor. amirite?
The last person on earth wouldn't even be aware they were the last, unless they traveled to every corner of the world and found no one else. They would always be thinking there was someone else somewhere. amirite?
We pay actors thousands to act homeless, yet we don't do that for the real homeless. amirite?

No we pay actors to entertain us

No food tastes better at lukewarm temp, amirite?

Except for freshly baked bread

Unicorns are always horny and so are dolphins. What about Dolf Lundgren. amirite?

It's time to put down the blunt

All ancient prophets could have been schizophrenic. amirite?

Probably bipolar. Mania often includes hyperreligiosity, being on a mission from god, etc.

Sometimes life throws you Poptarts; p o p t a r t, amirite?
Insane to think flowers have evolved to be sexy to bees more than to other flowers. amirite?

Well flowers can't really see can they?

Attractive people telling unattractive people that looks don't matter is the same as rich people telling poor people that money doesn't matter, amirite?

I'm unattractive but rich. What does that get me?

No matter how many cities and buildings are constructed, the Earth does not get any lighter. amirite?

Cities and, but think of all the stuff we sent into orbit and around our solar system and further. Not much lighter but just a bit lighter.