People enjoy me yet cry before me. What am I?

Sherlock.

You're smug, conceited, arrogant, insolent, insufferable... In other words, I find you very attractive.

Sherlock.

I normally have 100 or more teeth. I come in a variety of colors and sizes. People use me every day. At least, I hope they do. What am I?

A zipper

Kim Jong Un has upgraded himself from "Leader of North Korea" to "Supreme Leader of North Korea" by adding sour cream and extra cheese.

This is why they want to launch a missile at you

I’m jealous of my parents. I will never have a son so cute as they have.

Yeah, your brothers kinda cute.

What is your favorite brand of jeans?

Pandas. From what I've read, they're lazy and all they do is eat, sleep and have sex

There are an infinite number of numbers in the world, and an infinite numbers of numbers with the number 7 in them. But there are more plain numbers than numbers with the number seven in them. But both are infinite, so there's technically more of an infinite numbers of numbers than the infinite number of numbers with 7, amirite?

I read the first sentence and was like jOHN GREEN IS THAT YOU

going to a concert with your boyfriend is a very different experience to going with your best friend, amirite?

I go to concerts to see my boyfriend

You did not know that more people have committed suicide after listening to the song Gloomy Sunday (written in 1933 in Hungary) than any other song in history. The song has been covered by dozens of artists over the years and continues to be performed today because of its hauntingly beautiful melody. Amirite?
People quoting the bible in defense of the legitimacy of the existence of a god is like me quoting Dr. Seuss in defense of the legitimacy of the existence of foxes wearing socks and living in boxes. It's circular reasoning and it's not convincing, amirite?

It is a book but you shouldn't be belittling it. It is called faith for a reason.

No video game will ever surpass Ocarina of Time, amirite?

I loved the Paper Mario series and The Thousand Year Old Door was my absolute favourite

We had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, & Bob Rope. Now we have no jobs, no cash, & no rope to hang myself with if I read this one more time.

I HOPE KEVIN BACON DOESN'T DIE

"He-who-shall-not-be-named" sounds a hell of a lot cooler than "Voldemort" does, amirite?

When translated from french, it means "Fly from death" which is pretty cool.