Americans: it's kind of weird how much people from other countries know about the presidential election, because you rarely follow politics in other countries, amirite?

It's important to us this year especially, because although you may not notice it, but George Bush, like his father, fucked up the whole world and made a lot of enemies out there. So Obama first went to repair those alliances, because even if the us has the strongest military, china, Russia, France, and possibly Germany, as well as Al Qaida would be a very large threat in your weakened state. And he also worked very hard to help rebuild the world Bush destroyed just so he and Cheney could make money off weapons and oil. Maybe Obama hasn't done what you expected of him in your country, but sometimes helping other people is more necessary if they're suffering more than you. Romney would have continued the war, a war that had no cause originally, and pissed of many world leaders. Even though some of us may not like your country, we don't want a new world war, and so we really wanted Obama to be re-elected.
If you don't believe me, ask about 5 non Americans if they think Obama is doing a good job, in my experience, about 90% is quite satisfied.

It's odd to think about how many couples in the past had to come together and reproduce for you to be here today, amirite?

As Bill Bryson said...
Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result-eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly-in you.

"I don't always drink, but when I do, it's my drugs," amirite?

Anonymous +139Reply
"What if you could turn your lights on... from a different city?" Why the hell would you need to do that? amirite?

Scare the burglars! Frighten the cat! Startle the grandkids! Terrify your husband's mistress! Bother the cleaning lady! Bamboozle the UPS man! Reassure the gardener! Fuck with the meter reader! Amuse the electric company! Chase away the alligators! Endless fun! Dozens of uses! Hours of laughs!

You don't have 150 friends, amirite?

I can count all of my friends on one hand. While it's in a fist.

Science should always be expressed in terms of probability and never absolute certainty, amirite?
@saxybandgeek As should religion

Science is an explanation of life. Religion is nothing more than really bad science.

A victimless crime should not be a crime. amirite?
@With many "victimless" crimes, the person committing the crime is making themselves the victim. For example...

I think any law that is in place to "protect us from ourselves" should be abolished. I agree with HarryPotterFan777. If I want to fry my brain with ecstasy and cocaine, you don't have the right to tell me I can't. If you think you do, then don't you also have the right to tell me I can't eat cake, cut myself, go to tanning beds, or do anything else that isn't good for me? It's the exact same principle. And before anyone brings up how drugs make people hurt other people, just don't. In some cases, drugs cause violent behavior (the Miami "zombie"), but it isn't at all common.

"Uhm... Isn't it on the back of the car?" One of the things not to say when an officer asks to see your license, amirite?

"Oh, those are required for driving? I thought they were just suggestions"
"Will my friend's license do?"
"I left it at your mom's house."
"oh hold on, let me check up your ass"

Those probably wouldn't roll over well either.

Everyone who supported slavery was free. Everyone who supports abortion is alive, amirite?
@Pug Its not about Christian values. It's about human morals. It's no ones right to kill.

Abortion causes no pain to the aborted baby. Realistically, it isn't actually killing, it is the prevention of birth. Besides, this world is overpopulated as it is.

Also, the majority of people that consider abortion would provide a poor home for their children, and they simply recognize that fact. Married adults with a steady income will rarely visit abortion clinics.

Anyways, my thought is that if you aren't ready for a child you choose use birth control pills or condoms to lessen the likeliness of pregnancy. But if those don't work, it is your decision whether you should bring a child into this world.