It's weird that our pants have "legs" but our shirts don't have "arms", amirite?
No one knows you like your high school friends do. amirite?

Then no one knows me

Your tongue really doesn't have a natural way to sit in your mouth. amirite?
If your pickup truck isn't dirty you don't need a pickup truck. amirite?

What if you're a carwash repairman/tester?

Bacon went from disliked to revered due to a commercial about fake nationalism. amirite?

I loved bacon before I could read

Buying something is effectively stealing followed immediately by bribing the owner of the stolen goods not to report you for it. amirite?

Back when I worked retail a person wasn't getting a deal they wanted and busted out "The customer is always RIGHT!"

My reply was "You are a shopper until you complete the transaction. Then you are a customer".

I don't miss working retail.

It's weird that diamonds lasting 'forever' is a selling point when there are also random ugly rocks that are millions of years old which the vast majority of people don't care about at all. amirite?

Humans are attracted to things that are eyecatching; people like things like diamonds and other jewellery because they are bright and reflect a lot of light, therefore they attract and keep our attention.

Basically, jewelery is just a method to make ourselves more shiny to attract the attention of other humans. We're just glorified seagulls.

Cooked and uncooked eggs taste EXTREMELY different, amirite?

Cooked and uncooked everything tastes different. Because cooking is chemistry.

If meddling kids and a stoner dog are what foiled your criminal scheme, you probably weren't going to get away with it in the end anyways. amirite?

Youre wrong, they clearly all stated that they would, in fact, have gotten away with it.

Putting down an animals that suffers is the "humane" thing to do, but in most cases humans with a condition that causes permanent suffering are kept alive as long as possible. amirite?

ive never understood why humans do this

We Are All Losing To A Thing Infinite Times Smaller Than Us, amirite?

There's nothing infinitely small.

Penis is a form of privilege. amirite?
@KilljoyX Yasss

Man-tiddie gang rise up!

All your relatives (siblings included) will all soon find a family more important than you and the family dynamic you know will never exist again, amirite?

but for the siblings,they will also include me in that more important family.

Usain Bolt is the Fastest man on earth even when 99% of the earth's population didn't even participate in the race. amirite?

Um, he can beat them too.

6 degrees. He raced against people who raced against people who raced against everyone

We're pieces of meat walking around on a floating rock pretending to have a purpose, amirite?