Two men walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies, amirite?

snorts and pushes up glasses

If there are no seeds in vegetables, how do they grow them? amirite?

when a mommy vegetable and a daddy vegetable really love each other....

Paper clips are just staples for people with commitment issues, amirite?
@1103192

I usually hate commenters like you realdizzy, but for some reason I just can't hold what you do against you. Perhaps its cute picture of french toast that warms me everytime I see it or maybe it's just the fact that you are so dedicated to your cause, but anyway, keep spreading the good word to one and all, and I will be supporting you!

Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you from asking the questions. amirite?

Science gives you answers! Since science RULES!

Tom Marvolo Riddle = I Am Lord Voldemort = Immortal Odd Lover. Amirite?

And Mr. Drool Lead Vomit.

Anonymous +8Reply
How did the worst swearword in the English language come to be interchangeable with the word "love," amirite?

What, fuck? Not really.
"My wife died. I still love her."
"My wife died. I still fuck her."
Totally different.

It's freaky how you can be anybody on the Internet. Heck, I may be Miley Cyrus or John McCain and nobody would ever know. amirite?
@riri Or you could be a gorilla

Man, you caught me. wary smilie

I mean.... beats chest takes shit

Anonymous +8Reply
I don't care about sex or drugs. I don't care about partying and being out all night drinking. I'm not worried about my reputation, or how cool people think I am. I just like pancakes, and I can't see how anything else is more important. amirite?

AND FRENCH TOAST! DONT FORGET THE FRENCH TOAST

Who came up with hugs? The very first hug must have been really creepy. "What are you doing?...Why are you holding me?" "Just trust me." amirite?

Solution to all of your creepy hugging problems: the Christian side hug.

GIMME DAT CHRISTIAN SIDE HUG DAT CHRISTIAN SIDE HUG GIMME DAT CHRISTIAN SIDE HUG DAT CHRISTIAN SIDE HUG

Who came up with hugs? The very first hug must have been really creepy. "What are you doing?...Why are you holding me?" "Just trust me." amirite?
@Hugs release endorphins :]

Seaworld releases endolphins

Who came up with hugs? The very first hug must have been really creepy. "What are you doing?...Why are you holding me?" "Just trust me." amirite?
How to get over your fear of the dark: As soon as you turn the lights off, start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”, amirite?

inb4 realdizzy says something about french toast

Anonymous +27Reply
What if mirrors are really other worlds that only have one purpose: to mimic your world. Let's say you get up to brush your teeth and someone in the mirror-world yells, "We need John Smith in green pajamas brushing his teeth ASAP!" It's pretty cool to think about, amirite?

I'm always creeped out by the thought of another world in the mirror, because what if the people in the mirror are FORCED to do everything we do? what if they're just minding their own business, but then we walk up and suddenly they have to do everything we do? What if they're cursed into mimicking our every action, no matter how small, and this has caused them to loathe their real world counterpart? What if, while you're looking in the mirror, combing your hair, your counterpart is sitting there seething and trying very desperately to reach through your glass barrier and choke you to death, if only to grant themselves freedom?

They say that it's funny to add "in bed". At the end of a fortune cookie. But it's even better to add it to the end of a sitcom. How I Met Your Mother...in bed. Friends...in bed. Two and a Half Men...in bed, amirite?

Lost... in bed.