+39Sometime you start to desperately look for your car keys before realizing that you are in fact driving right now and the keys are in the ignition
+2The best way to get back at birds for pooping on your car is to sit outside on your front porch and eat a huge plate of scrambled eggs. This shows them what you are capable of.
+283You can use fingernail clippers for a lot of things other than just clipping your fingernails or toenails. amirite?
+16Fingernails can be useful for some things like popping pimples or picking up a penny off a tile floor, but there is no real use for toenails. amirite?
+384You don't really know how your arm pit hair came in. It didn't come one at a time. One day you just woke up and had it. amirite?
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-232Everyone has pooped somewhere other than a toilet at some point in the last five years of their lives, amirite?
+61They should make shaving cream black so your teeth would look really white every time you shave, amirite?
+11If you are going to be fat, you got to be funny. If you are fat and not funny then you are worthless to society, amirite?
-5If there is one thing in this world I hate it's twilight, but if there is two things I hate it's twilight and cancer. amirite?
+175It doesn't seem like it would be that hard to find a needle in a haystack if you were really persistent , amirite?