Giraffes are the vegetarian version of cheetahs. And dolphins are the pacifist version of sharks. amirite?

And turtles are the tents of the sea

The smaller is your tøwel, the more likely you are of drying your face using the same part you did on your booty. amirite?

Well, I let the water be absorbed on my face so towels just stay in my body

In a good relationship, no one wears the pants. amirite?
@And in a great relationship, nobody wears underwear too.

And similarity; in a terrible relationship everyone wears, muumuus.

If humans are such social creatures why are we all so lonely, amirite?

Because I killed your family and friends

Burglaries are reverse escape rooms, amirite?

Except I don't leave all my valuables in the escape room.

If you do it for you, then you can then not just do it for yourself but for the betterment of everything you, amirite?
The wind is gay because all it does is blow you. amirite?
Your handwriting is technically just your hands accent, amirite?
Every part of your life can theoretically be expressed with numbers. amirite?
@SuperRhl How is that an exception? Pi can be expressed in binary.

Because if there is no end to pi, no computer simulation could simulate it. The first numbers could be expressed in binary, but if we were living in a simulation, theoretically we would eventually find the end of pi. So if we ever do, that would be a pretty good indicator

We eat fruits. If the role is reversed, fruits eat our babies. amirite?
We eat fruits. If the role is reversed, fruits eat our babies. amirite?
Most celebrities wouldn't be considered attractive if they were normal people. amirite?
@Thepigwithwings Source?

Troubles childhoods can generally lead to higher than average levels of suspicion and conspiracy in adults

Prehistoric plants and dinosaurs could have tasted amazing but we'll never know, amirite?

Just like our ancient ancestors.

There's no anxiety like shaving your ball sack with a razor, amirite?

That's just completely unnecessary.

If an entire song is off key, then it isn't off key. amirite?

Finally, a comeback I can use when people tell me I'm a terrible singer!