If you're going to kill yourself, before you do it you should photoshop yourself out of all the pictures you can, burn all your previous possessions, and hack and delete all files of yourself, and then drown yourself in the ocean where your body will never be found, so all your friends will be like "Hey, what happened to Steve? Did ... did Steve ever exist? Did we just imagine him?" Amirite?

"Get well now, or we will kill a hostage every hour until you do"

I would trip, fall, get stabbed and die within the first 30 seconds.

But I'm still not working out.

After a complete high school education, the things Jimmy Neutron says don't sound all that impressive anymore, amirite?

Jimmy: "So I have to find the derivative of this function in order to power my latest invention. complicated sounding math rambling"
High school student: "He's finding the slope of the line tangent to his function? How is that helpful AT ALL?"

Without Bella Swan... Twilight would have been a little better.

There should be mild consequences for bad jokes. amirite?

i make people go outside of the room for 5 minutes. So people never tell me jokes on the highway...

Sometimes you think that your life is like The Truman Show and the whole world is watching, but then you remember that for that to happen you would actually need to have an interesting life, amirite?
@iceeselenawiz *me

Maybe I'm the one being watched and you are purposely trying to discourage the idea of me being watched. Can you prove that you're not?

Anonymous 0Reply
@afterawhile You're probably from canada.

And you probably rode a BUS to school.
Unlike SOME people with majestic, furry and white companions.

Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and vulnerable, if you want to toughen up- grow a vagina, those things can take a pounding, amirite?

Oh, now I get why people always called me a "pussy" while growing up. They think I'm tough!

There may be no "I" in "team", but there's also no "us" or "we." It seems like coaches should spend less time figuring out which one syllable words aren't in "team" and more time thinking up better motivational speeches, amirite?

There is no I in team but there are three in narcissistic and they are all quite handsome.