About me.
I'm the Hero of Courage. Nintendo created me. My girlfriend is Zelda, but that girl sure gets kidnapped...a lot. You know, you think she could defend herself, she's got magic and a ton of freakin' arrows, how can she not stop some 6 foot red haired man? Anyway, that red haired man is my arch-rival. His name is Ganondorf. He comes from a tribe of all females...don't even ask me how that tribe even exists, but it does. Even though I've killed him at least 5 times, he magically comes back and tries to fuck my girlfriend. You don't need to know any more about me, you already know enough to be a potential creeper.