Toilets are safety nets for farts. amirite?

No that would be my underwear

Early humans didn't mourn death because it was so common, only after longevity became the norm did humans start mourning death. amirite?

even elephants mourn their dead

you do understand that human lifespans arent really getting longer, childhood death is just far less common driving up the average. We also war a lot differently....

In medieval times if you made it to 30 you had a high chance of living to see 65-79 depending on region and class.

If you still haven't cut your hair since the barbershops closed, you've probably got a good barber. amirite?

Or if I'm bald

More house pets probably die directly from lethal injection rather than natural causes due to more owners opting to euthanize them. amirite?
@Then why don't we do it for humans

Most humans rather suffer then commit suicide. I guess it is a cultural and religious thing

If you live far away from an ocean your ancestors were probably running away or got chased out of town. amirite?

Or from a river

The divorce rate amongst pairs of socks is high. However it is much higher if the house where they live is also populated with children. amirite?

I'm 54 and have not once in my life lost one sock, I do not understand how this is possible at the rate that seems to be the case for most people.

You can still talk pretty well without any teeth. amirite?
At a certain point in our atmosphere the fear of crashing will become the fear of not ever being able to crash. amirite?
@Ggezpzmuppy No sorry mate, the atmosphere is hugeeee boyyy

See, the astronautical community would disagree with you here. For the purpose of determining where atmosphere ends and outer space begins, the line is typically drawn between 80~100km. The point where you need to be worried about not being able to come back down again is an order of magnitude beyond that, and requires you to be moving heinously fast for it to be an issue at all.

Whoever is deciding the ratio of the size of a jar of salsa to the size of a bag of tortilla chips is way off. amirite?

Probably because my BF needs two jars of salsa for a bag of chips, and I need two bags of chips for a jar of salsa. No way to win!

There's just one answer to "you're a liar", amirite?

"Am I? Prove it."

If you live with a blind person you really don't have to wear clothes around the house. amirite?
At the end of the day, it will always, sadly, take less energy to preach than it is to practice. amirite?
We only wear gloves /mittens in winter but we wear socks all year round, amirite?

If we're doing comparisons, then does that mean toe-less socks exist like fingerless gloves?

The voice in our head is always at the same volume, it's impossible to scream in our head. amirite?
The easier it is go to down something, the harder it is to go up it. amirite?