They're the fake that's better than the original
Oh god I have to know what this word is now. Is it mucus?
Well, they also see eyes
Properly done school teaches you where your interests lie.
Even if you believe that that life was formed by random we're at least increasing entropy and slightly speeding up the heat death of the universe!
The real problem is if you don't have a drinking problem with water.
And even if they aren't it isn't so that they can spy on you, it's because it's more convenient to call from a cell phone and people use payphones less often.
This is like going to the movies and then a disclaimer appears saying "you're currently most likely about to watch a movie."