SpearmintMilk

Worlds shortest horror story: The last man on earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door. Amirite?

I like this one better.

Worlds shortest horror story:
President Santorum.

Girls: if you owned a time machine, you'd go back to a time when guys were chivalrous..when they held open doors for you, when they stood outside your window quoting Shakespere, when they wanted to be with the girl they liked and not the one they wanted to get into the pants of. You'd go back to the times when romance novels were all around you in you very own life... amirite?

What back to the time when we had no rights, weren't allowed to own any property, get an education, were restricted to what jobs their were allowed to do and were paid much less than men. Their only worth was on how many sons we could give birth to. When husbands were legally allowed to beat their wives and even rape them. When women were expected to be meek and obedient to their husbands/fathers/brothers or any other male. Where most marriages were arranged and women were not allowed to divorce their abusive husbands yet he could divorce her if she did not give him a son? No thank you.

People who study Philosophy at university end up asking "Why would you like fries with that? amirite?

The only thing a philosophy degree is useful for is laminating it and using it to shield yourself from the rain when you're living on the streets.

It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen, amirite?

Doubt it. The water would have been too cold for them to survive as it was -2C. Lobsters live in shallower waters and where the titanic sunk was very very deep water. The pressure the ship created while sinking would have crushed them and they probably would have had their claws tied.

It's really attractive when people scrunch their lips together when taking a picture. More people should pose like that. amirite?
People who are vegetarian because they don't like the meat industry, should do more than just complain about it, amirite?

You mean like not contributing to the industry by buying and consuming their products?

It's sad that, as a race, we're more content seeing two men holding guns than two men holding hands, amirite?
While it is true that the most attractive thing about a woman is her personality, you still need to be physically attracted to her. You don't sleep with her personality, amirite?

I can't have sex with your personality, and I can't put my penis in your college degree, and I can't shove my fist in your childhood dreams, so why're you sharing all this information with me?

@no girls goto venus to see my 12 inch long pines

12 inch long pines? That's a very small tree.

Obama putting a tax on Christmas trees is a dick move, amirite?

Holy sweet baby Jesus, OBAMA IS NOT TAXING CHRISTMAS TREES! It is a FEE (not a tax) of 15cents requested by the National Christmas Tree Association to fund research programs and marketing campaigns to promote the purchase of real trees. The White House approved it, like they have to other similar campaigns, under both Republican and Democrat administrations, but they're now revising it, because people crying that Obama worse than the Grinch and wants to ruin Christmas forever.

@1699308

It looks like the face of someone who has suffered severe psychological trauma and is about to go on a delusional murderous rampage. It's fucking creepy.

I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and saw them crying in their bed at night or singing in the shower or humming quietly to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street. And even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think, after seeing them at their most vulnerable, you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them. Amirite?
You find the upper arm bone humerus, amirite?

It definitely tickled my funny bone.

I'm hungry
You should never give your cat a bath, amirite?
@1700201

Something similar happend to me. I have two cats, and one is really small and loves to be hugged and carried around and the other one is bigger and doesn't really like it. I had to give them a bath and thought the bigger one would be harder so I gave him a bath first and he just sat their quite happily and even kept putting his head under the faucet. So I was lulled into a false sense of security and gave the little one a bath. Holy fucking jesus her placid nature was replaced with some demon spawn from hell. She fought the bath like her life depended on it, the neighbours probably thought I was trying to drown her with the sounds she was making and I ended up with scratches all over including my face.